How to Win Friends and Influence People

How to Win Friends and Influence People. Sounds corny, but the advice is timeless and eye opening if you don't have natural knack for dealing with people. It will save you a lot of frustration. I didn't read it until 30 and I wish I had read it at 16.

How to win friends and influence people - Dale Canergie It showed me different ways to interact with other humans. Influenced me by giving me tools, confidence, and making me want to step out of my confort zone.

For the last several years, I've kicked off my annual book list by re-reading Ben Franklin's _Autobiography_. I just love the conversational tone and how wide-ranging it is, and there's a surprising amount of still-practical day-to-day advice in there. Honorable mention to _How to Win Friends and Influence People_ (I agree with other comments that earlier editions are better) and _Getting Things Done_. Thanks for starting this thread! Lots of good recommendations here.

How to win friends and influence people - Dale Carnegie. Influence - Robert Cialdini. Like it or not, we enter into "adversarial" situations every day.

How to Win Friends and Influence People If you give it to someone, be very careful about who you give it to. I've given it to several different people that needed some self-confidence boosting, but one of them ended up using some of the lessons from it in some devious ways.

I’d like to say - Factfulness or - Sapiens or - Richard Feynman’s various writings …but the most measurable impact was probably from something like - “Strunk and white The Elements of Style” or - “How to win friends and influence people” or - “Oh! Pascal!” Or - “the dictionary” or - some specific bus timetable that enabled a pivotal moment in my life

The Pragmatic Programmer (Andrew Hunt, Dave Thomas), The Manager's Path (Camille Fourier), How To Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie). These books helped me to realize that many insecurities I had where "common" in Software Engineering field. The last one is especially good if you're looking for improve your relations with people.

"Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion" by Robert B. Cialdini (1984) "How to Make Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie (1936) Two great books that could lure a curious mind into sales. However, I recommend both to everyone.

Personal Power - Robbins, How to win friends and influence people - Carnegie, Feeling Good - Burns, Godel Esher Bach - Hofstadter, Fundamentals of Physics - Halliday and Resnick, Jonathan Livingston Seagull - Bach, The Commodore 64 User Manual, "Stocks for the Long Run", The Player's Handbook and Dungeon Master's Guide - Gygax, Dune - Herbert

A classic: How to Win Friends & Influence People - D Carnegie

Yes but _How to win friends and influence people_ started that genre, and is an extreme example of the style. All those anecdotes...

I think the main message of the book is to "put yourself in the shoes of others". And that definitely does not create dishonest, manipulative, self-centered pricks. In fact, that teaches people empathy.

"How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Carnegie. Old but great for an introvert on the spectrum like me. Human nature doesn't change, but I still don't understand it. Functional Web Development with Elixir, OTP, and Phoenix: Rethink the Modern Web App by Lance Halvorsen Elixir and Phoenix have been fantastic for my productivity. I had a fairly short, but steep learning curve in the early days, but LiveView is amazing and replaces quite a bit of client side javascript that previously felt redundant to me. I've been getting a quicker time to completion, and correspondingly being paid faster than when I was working with more traditional stacks like Django or Rails.

How To Win Friends And Influence People

How to win friends and influence people

„How to win friends and influence people“ ranks pretty high.

Just books in general? Professional development? Science Fiction? Politics? Can't go wrong with the classics like "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" along with "How to Win Friends and Influence People." For motivation: "Can't Hurt Me" by David Goggins... it's impossible to read that book and come up with a good excuse why you cannot achieve your goals.

Yep. I would re-read it on a semi-regular basis as suggested. I need to go back to it. Unfortunately my much loved copy (with highlights and underlines) was given to a family member so now I am left with my Kindle version. I've also listened to the millennium version twice.

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie

It's probably been 32 years since I read How to Win Friends, but my take on it was that it is like many things we learn throughout life - first we model, they we practice, finally we make it part of our nature, and eventually we achieve mastery. I didn't come away with the impression that the techniques are intended to be used in a hollow, phony way, so much as to show the reader a set of steps to get started toward genuinely showing interest in other people. Not everyone can jump right in to Siddhartha or Zen and the Art or some of these heavier books that might take people out of their default self-absorption towards greater awareness of other people and their needs, but Carnegie wrote something that is easy to access and get people started down a path.

I agree with what you said. The book encourages all kinds of shortcuts (not explicitly though), and later on I found other books to be much better on the same topics. However, it is very very easy to read and follow. And if you are not a social person, the book is a good first read.

Best business books: -Secrets of Sandhill Road -Hackers and Painters -The Great CEO within -Venture Deals -Predictable Revenue -Zero to One -The Hard Thing About Hard Things -Lean customer development -Lost and founder -Lean B2B -From Impossible to Inevitable -Traction Best computer science books: -Competitive programming 3 -Structure and interpretation of computer programs Best for fun (non-fiction): -Meditations -Sapiens -How to win friends and influence people -A brief history of time -Self-reliance -Frente a la estrella polar

I was about the same age when I read HTWF&IP. It's a shame because it's a really good book about, basically, how to be a good person. I think the reason we put it off for so long is that they couldn't have titled it worse if they'd called it "How To Be An Asshole"

Book: How to Win Friends and Influence People Reason: To learn how to be a human. Or something like this, because apparently there's a thing called emotional intelligence, the Doctor says that I have a severe lack of it...

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Not really about leadership per se, but it helps you get out of your own way which allows a lot of other good things room to happen.

Most of the advice in "How to Win Friends and Influence People" is fairly relevant and can be learned at any age - the book and Carnegie's courses were originally for older businessmen. The problem with the book is that its title and chapter titles have not aged well - they sound manipulative. The actual advice is very good and focuses on empathy and kindness; timeless concepts. I've definitely seem people change their behavior after reading it well into their 30s and 40s.

Dale Carnegie's Winning Friends and Influencing people is so simple, but the technique really works. Become genuinely interested in people, make them feel good, they will appreciated it. The advice is essentially don't be a jerk and do talk to people about the things they are interested. When you start doing that it's like playing life on easy mode.

Charisma by Marcia Grad - helped me become less shy as a teenager How to Win Friends and Influence People The Keill Randor books got me influenced in martial arts.

"How To Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie It's an enduring classic for good reason.

I agree it should be required reading in college. However, it has one glaring fault: it doesn't provide many tips on motivating yourself to take personal interest in others. We geeks like gizmos and logic and stuff, people bore us. It's like a health book that reveals eating more vegetables and whole grains, and getting more exercise is the way to better health. That's useful info, but the hard part is motivating yourself to eat such and exercise often enough.

How to Make Friends and Influence People

Upvoted, and I would also say the Book of Mormon, with the Bible. The BoM reinforces the Bible's teachings powerfully, and as I age and read again, sometimes in other languages, and some scholarly things about it, they both just keep getting better and better. Including in their effect on me. You can get a copy of either one for free. Edit: Additionally, some which have been mentioned or not: - a couple of biographies of Lincoln (one is free on gutenberg.org, the other more recent by Doris Kearns Goodwin), and one of Washington whose name I forget now, but there are good ones out there. - the 7 Habits book (Covey), and How to Win Friends and Influence People by Carnegie. - Refactoring ..., by Martin Fowler. - some thick Scheme programming book from college (sorry, it's downstairs). And "The Little Schemer", also about Scheme (one of the authors, Friedman, was also our instructor). - Since Cumorah, by Hugh Nibley (maybe dated now, but there is a lot of related work). Really got me interested in related topics.

Please don't... every time a thread like this shows up on HN, I end up impulsively buying some of the recommended books. I'm usually very happy about the purchase, though. :). Humor aside; not sure if favourite of all times, but definitely impacted my thinking a lot: - "Rationality: From AI to Zombies" - https://intelligence.org/rationality-ai-zombies/ - read this when it was still a bunch of posts by 'Eliezer on LessWrong. It cleaned up my thinking quite a bit, and introduced to couple new ideas from economics, sociology and epistemology. - SICP, obviously. - "How to Win Friends and Influence People", and "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" - from the father of the whole genre of self-help/personal development, and one whose books are still probably the only good ones in this genre, Dale Carnegie. They explain exactly what it says in their titles.

Seconded. So very helpful.

Cliche, but How to Won Friends and Influence People, along with Atlas Shrugged were the 2 biggest influences for me when I was trying to get sober. Or rather, they kept me dedicated when I was getting sober and wanted to deviate.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How to Win Friends and Influence People

How to win friends and influence people. Helped me solve some approaches to handling people in general and highlighted a few approaches that I had been taking that were actively causing me problems. The Secrets of Consulting: A Guide to Giving and Getting Advice Successfully by Gerald Weiberg. [1] Helped me understand why technical problems are rarely just technical. Working effectively with legacy code by Michael Feathers [2]. Practicing some of the techniques in this helped me get my foot in the door in a job long ago where one of the interview scenarios was "This is broken, go ahead and fix it.". I recommend reading this for anyone working on a code base that's been around for a while. -- [1]: https://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Consulting-Giving-Getting-Suc... (https://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Consulting-Giving-Getting-Successfully-ebook/dp/B004J35LHQ/) [2]: https://www.amazon.com/Working-Effectively-Legacy-Robert-Mar... (https://www.amazon.com/Working-Effectively-Legacy-Robert-Martin-ebook/dp/B005OYHF0A/)

early in my career, those two books were on my desk continuously: https://www.amazon.com/Network-Programming-Perl-Lincoln-Stei... (https://www.amazon.com/Network-Programming-Perl-Lincoln-Stein/dp/0201615711/) https://www.amazon.com/Mastering-Algorithms-Perl-Practical-P... (https://www.amazon.com/Mastering-Algorithms-Perl-Practical-Programming/dp/1565923987/) later, it was time for https://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0... (https://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671027034)

How to win friends and influence people

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. I'm not saying my coworkers are a bunch of jerks, but it's got a lot of great advice for working alongside others and resolving differences. --- "How to Not Write Bad" by Ben Yagoda. I'm not saying my coworkers are all terrible writers, but for many of them, writing just isn't their thing. But learning how to avoid the most common writing problems is important for programmers, because everybody ends up writing some degree of documentation. -- "Experimenting With Babies: 50 Amazing Science Projects You Can Perform on Your Kid." I'm not saying my coworkers are a bunch of babies, but I wrote the book, so I want _everybody_, not just my colleagues, to read it.

I agree that most of the advice is pretty obvious if you reflect on your and other people's behavior. Also, I grew pretty tired of always using a string of anecdotes as support. Sometimes they don't even seem to fit the current chapter. However, I think the important point of the book is that Carnegie succinctly collects a small number of behaviors that will improve your social life if you apply them. So you might not learn something new in the book, but hopefully it will teach you to focus on these known things instead.

My five year old is a voracious reader. I feel like this is one of the most important educational tools you can give anyone. We stress to her that if you can read, and comprehend, there's nothing you cannot learn. That's why I included the first two on this list. How to Read a Book - Mortimer Adler How to Read Slowly - James Sire The Personal MBA - Josh Kaufman The Intelligent Investor - Benjamin Graham Think and Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie

I have 4: -Benjamin Franklin's Autobiography - you can download it for free - Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell - A bit simplistic but it opens your eye to the fact that talent is a small part of being successful in whatever you want to achieve. - How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie - You need people to succeed. Making enemies or just treating people indifferently is a bad move. - 7 habits of highly effective people by Stephen R. Covey. People put it down because the advice seems to be common sense but it's only common sense if you know it but not everyone knows it. - Meditations by Marcus Aurelius- this is a lifelong guide. Read it until the pages fall apart and then get another and do the same. All these books can be read multiple times and you'll learn something new so get hard copies if you can.

While it is certainly true on some level, I think Carnegie chose not to use "manipulate" for a reason: It's not so much about getting them to do what you want, but to see the issue from all sides and choose a path that is beneficial to you both. He also repeatedly stresses honesty ("honest appreciation"). So even if there is some amount of manipulation, it's still mainly about seeing everybody as a person and working together.

Thinking, Fast and Slow - Daniel Kahneman The Richest Man in Babylon - George Samuel Clason Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance - Robert M. Pirsig How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie This is such a beautiful thread!

The Fountainhead - Ayn Rand Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand The Selfish Gene - Richard Dawkins How To Win Friends And Influence People - Dale Carnegie The Game - Neil Strauss The Four Steps To The Epiphany - Steve Blank ... among others.

Right off the bat, here you go: 1. The 7 habits of highly successful people (Stephen Covey) 2. The Miracle Morning (Hal Elrod) 3. Business Model Generation (Aelxander Osterwalder) 4. The Art Of War (Sun Tzu) 5. The E-myth, why most businesses don't work and what to do about it (Michel Gerber) 6. Made In Japan (Founder of Sony, Akio Morita) 7. How to win friends and influence people (Dale Carnegie) Probably I missed a few more, but I think these ones are a good start.

I'm sure I have an unpopular opinion on this, I have read How To Win Friends And Influence People a few times and I can't get over the fact that the skills taught feel very disingenuous and superficial. "act interested, use the person's name, etc". It's extremely cringe inducing when you see somebody blatantly using the tactics. If there's a reason that everyone should read this book, it's more so that they are aware of these tactics.

1. How to Win Friends and Influence People - I recommend because I apply every day at work and reap the results as well, somebody should have recommended this book to me ten years ago; 2. Children of Time - a science fiction book that I enjoyed, I notice that fiction, in general, helps me deal with stressful work, as I disconnect easier and put myself in an imaginary world while reading; 3. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius - this isn't a book you read cover to cover, I catch myself thinking long even after reading a single sentence; 1) and 3) I've come across on HN, but 2) was the unexpected random hit.

How to win friends and influence people - Dale Carnegie This book starts off as a business book but it is the single most useful book I have ever read. For some people they will find that it's second nature, for those of us on the less socially aware side of the spectrum it's like an instruction manual for communicating effectively without coming off as a creep.

Non-Fiction: "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie, because it changed my understanding of people for the better. "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!" by Richard Feynman, because it gave me a model for how to enjoy life. "Models" by Mark Manson, because it helped shape my understanding of heterosexual relationships. "An Introduction to General Systems Thinking" by Gerald Weinberg, because it illuminates the general laws underlying all systems. Fiction: "Stranger in a Strange Land" by Robert A Heinlein, because it showed me a philosophy and "spirituality", for lack of a better word, that I could agree with. "The Fountainhead" and "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand, because they showed me how human systems break, and they provided human models for how to see and live in, through, and past those broken systems. "Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality" by Eliezer Yudkowsky, because it set the bar (high) for all future fiction, especially when it comes to the insightful portrayal of the struggle between good and evil.

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" is easily one of the most important books out there for anyone working in any professional env that involves other humans. No need for throwaway - awesome selection

Throwaway since this is a bit embarrassing. How to Win Friends and Influence People. Crucial Conversations. 5 Love Languages. The Way of the Superior Man. I'm 37 and I'm a stereotypical geeky, low-social-capability guy. Coasted through life on being smart, to the exclusion of much else. I'd get pedantic and into pointless arguments, but justify it because I was right -- sorta being a dick though not intentionally, just emergent behavior. I did poorly on romantic relationships despite being married a decade. I'd stumble around conversations awkwardly or interject stupid facts and just overall sucked at the personal side of life.…

I was about to mention it. I still find it hard sometimes not to get into long winded arguments with people, but after reading this book I've gotten much better at picking my battles.

totally right on that one, it goes to every area of life

"7 Habits of Highly Effective People" [1] - I listened to the audio book and it was really an eye-opener. It changed my perspective on people and personality a lot. Highly recommended. Same with the book "How To Win Friends And Influence People" [2]. It's written decades ago and still holds the principles true. Another gem I found recently was : "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by the same author of [2]. It's really good if you are stressed with your lifestyle. Really gives practical advice.

I have had the same experience. It has always been difficult for me to handle social relationships with others when growing up (I cannot understand how others feel/think about me). "How to win friends" offers an (behaviourism?) insight into what you do can make others feels what. It's like a handbook really!

I double this. Listened to the audiobook recently. I've always considered myself quite a communicative person, but only after the book I realized how much improvements can be done here. Still, I find it a bit manipulative, so I would only use the techniques in working environment and stay "myself" and direct with friends.

"How To Win Friends And Influence People" helped me a lot with social skills that are obvious to most people but not to me. It's still something I work on regularly, it doesn't come naturally.

1. "Meditations" – Marcus Aurelius 2. "The Practicing Mind" – Thomas Sterner 3. "Better: A Surgeon's Notes on Performance" – Atul Gawande (I'm not a surgeon; the principles herein are universal) (honorable mention: "How to Win Friends and Influence People" – Dale Carnegie; various biographies by Caro and Chernow)

I'll add my current three, 1) "How to Win Friends and Influence People" 2) "The War of Art" 3) "The Pragmatic Programmer"

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. All of your working life is built on relationships, even if you code all day.

How to Win Friends and Influence People - The tips in this book do work magic.

Mostly portuguese poetry. I've read the "How to make friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie (pt edition). Highly recomend it to anyone who wants to improve people skills.

But of course: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influen... (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People) If there's a single book I wish everyone had read - not just managers - it would be this. I'd market it as "manual for human beings". You learn how to deal with them, as well as how to be one.

Below list are some of my favorite books overall that I didn't see mentioned. ---Non-software related How to win friends and influence people -Dale Carnegie (The definitive guide to helping you work better with people, truly great book, should be required reading) Blink- Malcolm Gladwell Godel Escher, Bach - (Recursion, but not from a software perspective. Its a glorious book that will change the way you think about recursion.) Hitch Hiker's guide to the galaxy, - Douglas Adams (Glorious book that is a fun read, when you need a break pick this up and laugh hard) Foundation Series - Assimov (Great stories from one of the best sci-fi writers ever) -------------------Software related Code Complete Concrete Mathematics The Art of Computer Programming The Design of the Unix Operating System Introduction to Algorithms -Cormen Design Patterns Elements of Resusable OO Design -Gang of Four

While that's true at the most abstract level, that doesn't mean that there isn't a whole lot one can learn beyond that, for example on recognizing customer archetypes, how to talk to each archetype to gain pathos with them, how to approach new clients, how to handle objections, how (and when) to close, ... So I would definitely say that there is something like sales, and yes it revolves around 'providing solutions', but that doesn't mean that anyone who can provide solutions to problems can bring in revenue. Carnegie is a useful book for life in general, don't get me wrong - it's just that it's only the 'foundation' of sales and there is a big distance between that foundation and the actual practice of doing sales. Much like algebra is a 'foundation' of programming, yet nobody gets hired to program based on their ability to multiple two numbers.

The one piece of advice I was given years ago: There is no such thing as "sales", and you aren't a "salesman". You provide a solution to a problem. Listen, understand, and then offer a solution. I forgot who told me that but it's fantastic advice. As far as understanding people, the de facto book to read is "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. I'd highly recommend that.

"The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield (good read if you want to learn how to quit procrastinating!) "The Greatest Salesman on Earth" by Og Mandino "The Zahir" by Paolo Coelho is about challenging tradition, highly recommend. "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie When I was in high school- "The Alchemist" by Paolo Coelho

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie A classic, but it has really helped change the way I deal with people.

"How to Win Friends and Influence People", Dale Carnegie "The Black Swan", Taleb "How To Be Idle: A Loafer's Manifesto", Tom Hodgkinson "The Tao Is Not Silent", Raymond Smullyan In that order.

I would buy and look into the following books: # HTTP: The Definitive Guide - O'Reilly Media # Algorithms by Sedgewick # Introduction to Algorithms by Cormen. Check out some Machine Learning books: # Pattern Recognition and Machine Learning # Computer Networks (5th Edition) I would look at the following book if you wanted more Q&A and interview questions: # Cracking the Coding Interview: 150 Programming Questions ... Tutorial memberships: # I would buy a Tuts+ account, they have been very slow in releasing new content (too bad), however they have lots of great Web Development stuff. I would read some other non-technical books: # Hackers & Painters: Big Ideas from the Computer Age by Paul Graham # The Hard Thing About Hard Things by Ben Horowitz # The Innovator's Dilemma: The Revolutionary Book That Will Change The Way You Do Business by Clayton M. Christenen, # Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman # How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie If you wanted to understand some Cloud stuff, look into the Whitepapers from Amazon Web Services: # https://aws.amazon.com/whitepapers/

I agree it's great, but the summary serves just as well! http://sameffect.com/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people... (http://sameffect.com/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people-summary/)

After seeing this on so many Hacker News comments to threads like this I finally gave in and started to read it. It has definitely opened my eyes to how I interact with people and made me a lot more self aware.

I second this book: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Antifragile by Nassim Taleb Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino Il deserto dei tartari (The Tartar Steppe) by Dino Buzzati How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

I read it a few years ago and found it quite helpful, too – the most important bit being that (most) people like to talk about themselves.

How to Win Friends and Influence People I was skeptical at first due to how old the book is but the advice is truely everlasting and extremely effective.

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

This is a good book. The simple tip of asking people about themselves when unsure of what to talk about does work in a pinch. I also found it interesting that Susan Cain (see my comment in this thread) largely derided this book and the others like it that came out at the same time.

How to Win Friends and Influence People I had avoided this one for years due to its age and because reading it seemed to imply one has no friends and no influence. It gets long-winded in parts with a few too many examples, but it's excellent. Definitely something everyone should read once, no matter what type of job or lifestyle one leads.

The Bible How to win friends and influence people The Alchemist The Charisma Myth

I know I'm a little late to read this, but I've been enjoying How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie. It's interesting how it objectifies social interaction with others in such short passages.

I believe the title is even better now than when it was written in the 1930s; the fact that when most people hear it they think of Machiavellian back-stabbing is evidence how important its lessons are today.

A rather unfortunate title for an amazing book. You might think most of what it says is common sense, but in reality, ever since I read it, I've been far more cognizant of relationships with people & despite being a talkative extrovert, I have tried my best to shut the hell up and listen :)

How To Win Friends and Influence People really changed how I interact with people, for the better.

Siddhartha The Alchemist Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance How to Win Friends and Influence People

Think & Grow Rich How to Win Friends & Influence People

At 13, I read How to win friends and influence people. It taught me how to deal with people. Has she shown any interest in a given topic? At 13, I was dying to learn about stocks, but did not have the resources to do so.

It really depends on what facet of business you think she'd be interested in. To be honest I think better than any specific business resource out there would be to just get her on the path to building the core skills she'll use later on in life. She's already got that started with her vending business which is great. I think pushing her towards taking on some school activities may be great too. Things where she can help organize events and fundraisers and really contribute to a group. As for my favorite books on business I would suggest for a 13 year old: "Death by Meeting" The author describes a fictional company that is terrible at conducting meetings until the main character comes and helps address the issues. I know she's not really running meetings at the moment so this may be of less use to her until she has others working along side her. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0787968056 I also agree that "How to Win Friends and Influence People" is an excellent book. I grew up with social anxiety disorder and it was one of the books that really broke me out of my shell and gave me the confidence to really push past it. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0671723650…

These are the ones I remember, but not necessarily for being the best. Steve Jobs - Walter Isaacson. I thought it was interesting; an honest attempt at cataloguing the life of a fascinating and complex person. How To Win Friends And Influence People - Dale Carnegie. I'd skimmed through it in high school, and decided it was full of obvious/cheesy platitudes, but was somehow convinced to take another look this year and I'm very glad I did. It is mostly full of very basic "don't be an ass" advice, but I needed it. Never Eat Alone - Keith Ferrazzi. I'm not sure what to think of this one. It's pretty low on actionable advice, but it did help me (together with HTWFAIF, above) reframe the way I approach interpersonal relationships. The Cat's Table - Michael Ondaatje. I haven't finished this one yet, but it's part of a recent concerted effort to read more fiction. I've always loved Ondaatje's work, and this latest novel is no different. Freakonomics - Steven Levitt & Stephen Dubner. I just started reading this last night, and I'm already 100 pages in. It's an addicting read, and is already causing me to re-evaluate the incentive systems that are everywhere.…

Dale's book is definitely a must read. Matter of fact, I would argue that you should read that first before anything else

Have you checked out the handful of books listed on the YCombinator "Startup Library" page (http://ycombinator.com/lib.html)?: Dale Carnegie: How to Win Friends and Influence People Edward Tufte: The Visual Display of Quantitative Information Paul Graham: Hackers and Painters Jessica Livingston: Founders at Work

Me too, came here to just to say this.

This is the only book I was going to recommend. great summary.

By labeling his book outdated I actually meant the examples and situations he describes. The lessons learned and advice he gives are definitely timeless. After reading everyone's suggestions here I realized that I'm not as socially inept as I thought. I do have the fundamentals down. I guess it's the lack of practice and not knowing how to keep a conversation going when you're not naturally interested in the other person that I'm having a difficult time with. But I appreciate your suggestion on how to approach people at the Hackers & Founders meeting. I think this is what I need, tips on how to initiate a conversation while sounding natural. And LOTS of practice. Thanks!

Sorry to be so blunt, but for someone who doesn't have any social skills, it's odd you would feel that Dale Carnegie's book is outdated. It doesn't seem like you are qualified to know what is outdated or not, given your lack of expertise. I suggest you follow that book because it concentrates on the fundamentals. It's very important you internalize this. When you go to the Hackers and Founders meetup, every 1 hr, walk up to someone and say "Hi, my name is gs7. So what brings you here?" It is awkward and embarrassing, but work through it. You'll get over it. At least it's friendly and people won't think you're a jerk. And then you can engage people on things that are interesting to both of you. If you do this exactly 100 times over the course of several months, you'll find that it's not a problem anymore. All it takes is practice. You will fail miserably the first 40 times. The next 30 times, you'll do crappy, but you'll be doing better. The next 20 times, you'll be doing okay. And the last 10 times, you'll be good at it.

As has already been stated, "How to win friends and influence people" is probably your best bet. However you'd be better off finding a way to practice your skills. A couple things to realize: many people are lonely (like you), and like to discuss their interests. In high school I was lucky enough to discover how easy it is to break through this with a few events where no one knew more than a few people. The habit I adopted in college, and wish would be easier to do in suburbia was going to dining halls alone, (and this does work elsewhere ... but have a book handy in case no one is interested) look for anyone who's eating alone and doesn't seem to be working or already engrossed in a book, and ask if they'd like company. I've done it successfully the two times I've found myself with the time to do it after college, and numerous times during college. The same approach works in many large group social scenes.…

Thanks, I've actually read that one about a year ago and it's on my bookshelf. I think it was pretty good, but I felt it was a little outdated and the suggestions were all things I already knew.

- "How to Win Friends and Influence People" as other mentioned here - join a Toastmaster's club. practice your speaking and presentation skills. - meetup.com is a great way to meet people with common interests in your local area

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie When I read this book, the timing was perfect and I credit it with refocusing my mind when it comes to relationships. Critics usually say that it's all just common sense, and I would agree -- however, these critics miss the fact that common sense is rarely common practice. I recall my first few interactions after reading the first half of the book, and the stuff works, plain and simple. I wanted to kick myself for being so oblivious. It sounds like you are already aware of the importance of relationships, so I would say, give it a shot and don't get discouraged. With practice, it will become easier (almost second nature when you see how positive the results are). You can also find some great summaries of this book online. Due to an overwhelmingly positive experience with this book, I later searched for further reading on the topic and ended up with "Ethics for the New Millennium" by the Dalai Lama -- this book helped to bring into focus the underlying "truth" of "How to Win Friends & Influence People" and is a nice follow up... good luck!…

"How to Win Friends & Influence People" http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/06... (http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671723650?tag=duckduckgo-d-20) I don't know if it's as "step-by-step" as you're looking for, but it's a classic and still quite popular -- I think it'll at least be a good starting point for you.

personally, I'd recommend the classics. 1. winning friends and influencing people by Dale Carnegie probably the best "quick introduction to people skills" I've seen. then, if you need to deal with vendor salespeople 2. winning through intimidation by Robert J. Ringer. (not that I really advocate doing what he says, but it's an important window into the sales mind. You need some applied cynicism to defend yourself the first time you go to rent an office, a server, or anything else, really.) but, I guess that's only two, and neither is as specific as you want. I've never read a specific business book that I found useful.

Few of them are: - I am OK you are OK, Thomas Harris (not sure) - Fountain Head, Ayn Rand - How to win friends .. - Lateral Thinking, Bono

This is the only self-help book that has helped me. (Self-help books are normally waste of time)

Definitely. Seriously considered giving this to my younger brother as well...

When I was about 17 I was told, in no uncertain terms and by someone I respected: "You really need to learn how to get along with people." I took that at face value, and tried to find a manual for how to interact positively with others, and I found H2WF&IP. I treated it like a text book, and it changed my life completely. I was happier, more able to be sociable, and I could get along with people. Now, after a further 30 or more years, I can still see the book's influence as I negotiate deals, manage employees, broker agreements, and generally "do stuff." It's now out-of-date, but if you can make the effort to read it in the context it was written, and to ignore the obvious anachronisms, it's still valuable. The more recent versions try to be more up-to-date, but they lose something as far as I can tell, and I return to the original.

Probably How to Win Friends and influence people. I could have done with being nicer to people much earlier in my life, probably around 12 or so. I'm surprised by the number of tech books on this list, I found I had an appetite for finding them myself pretty much when I was ready for each of them.

If you actually want literature, my favorite book as a child was Where the Red Fern Grows. If they are around 14+ there are some great, captivating Hemmingway books. A Farewell to Arms, Island in the Stream, A Movable Feast, and The Garden of Eden (In that order). I keeping editing as I think of new things. This may sound odd, but if they are in the 14+ range, How to Win Friends and Influence People is great. It changed a lot for me. When I was like 9 I got the book How to be Twice as Smart and it taught me a ton of mental tricks. This book taught me a lot (probably if the boy is like 10 or 12+?) http://www.amazon.com/Backyard-Ballistics-Cannons-Cincinnati... (http://www.amazon.com/Backyard-Ballistics-Cannons-Cincinnati-Dynamite/dp/1556523750/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1285352917&sr=1-1)

Definitely all three of these... Plus recently "Made to Stick" has really changed how I think about ideas and sharing them with others. http://www.amazon.com/Made-Stick-Ideas-Survive-Others/dp/140... (http://www.amazon.com/Made-Stick-Ideas-Survive-Others/dp/1400064287/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1282795235&sr=1-1)

The Alchemist http://www.amazon.com/Alchemist-Fable-About-Following-Dream/... (http://www.amazon.com/Alchemist-Fable-About-Following-Dream/dp/0062502182) Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance http://www.amazon.com/Zen-Art-Motorcycle-Maintenance-Inquiry... (http://www.amazon.com/Zen-Art-Motorcycle-Maintenance-Inquiry/dp/0688002307/) How to win friends an Influence people http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/14... (http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/1439167346)

- How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/06... (http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671723650) - Beethoven As I Knew Him by Anton Felix Schindler http://www.amazon.com/Beethoven-As-I-Knew-Him/dp/0486292320 - Soul Of A New Machine (It's about hardware!) and Mountains Beyond Mountains, both by Tracy Kidder - Eating Animals by Jonathan Safron Foer

Great question. Firstly, the more I've gotten involved in business over the years, the more I've come to realise that for any kind of sale requiring human contact, personal relationships are absolutely paramount. This is fairly straightforward, but it bears repeating. People will buy from people who they like. In a situation where a customer can choose between Vendor A and Vendor B who have similar products and prices, they will choose the likable Vendor A who is friendly and who they enjoy getting a call from. This is 100 times more powerful than Vendor B who has 3 additional features that are really great, but who has made no attempt to establish any kind of relationship with the customer. As such, the first book I would recommend would be the classic "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.…

Pick up a copy of the tried and true, "How To Win Friends & Influence People". The rest of the fad business books come and go, but this one is a great start to learn how to interact with people when you're trying to sell them on "something".

I'm a freelancer in web dev and show biz and have done a lot of sales in that area. Brian Tracey's "Advanced Selling Strategies" is probably the best single book out there for individual one-on-one selling, especially if you also read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" 80% of reviewers on Amazon gave it 5 stars, and the rest 4. That's saying something for a business book! I would also highly recommend finding good books on negotiation too. Balancing relationship sales with negotiation and estimation is IMHO the hardest and most far-reaching aspect of being a freelance web dev. Iain Duncan

How to Win Friends & Influence People (http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/06... (http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671723650)) - Seriously.

Go over "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie and then convince them to stay away from Java. You will benefit not only yourself, but the humanity as whole :)

> This is a great book. Which version did you read? Dale Carnegie's estate has published a slightly different version almost every year since Carnegie's death. The version I read mentioned Stevie Wonder. I was thinking 'WTF? I thought that Stevie Wonder became famous after Dale Carnegie died.' Indeed, I was right. Anyhow, for this reason, I recommend the earliest edition you can obtain so that it is closer to Carnegie's intentions.

Second. This is a great book.

Dale Carnegie: How to Win Friends and Influence People

"How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie. This book should especially be read by those that aren't good with people.

Make friends and influence people -- will help you understand why people react as strange as they do.

Unfortunately I can't read fiction too much, I feel like what I read must directly help me with what I do, so I feel a lot better reading either technical stuff or business related (I love business). Since we are excluding technical, most of the following are business related, or helps you in dealing with people and solving problems) Netscape Time - Jim Clark (very educational for those interested in startups, good piece of Internet history, interesting insights to the culture of the first Internet companies) How To Win Friends And Influence People - Dale Carnegie (found it through YC recommendations, THANK YOU. one of the best educational books I have ever read, it will teach you how to make friends, be a good leader, get along at home, encourage people, make them follow you and so much more...) Founders at Work - Jessica Livingston (I found it relevant to what I am doing, good lessons, and interesting insights) Getting to Yes - Roger Fisher, William L. Ury (teaches you how to negotiate and how to get the best out of each situation for yourself and the other part, will be useful both at work and personal life, a bit dry)…

The Bible, Wild at Heart, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Songs for Martha <-- I have an autographed copy, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Rainbow Six (and most other Clancy books)

This has come up a couple times before. However, specifically for entrepreneurs, the books to read are: 1) How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie 2) Musashi's The Book of Five Rings 3) Gonzo Marketing by Christopher Locke 4) Getting Things Done by David Allen 5) What Management Is by Joan Magretta There are other books, but less relevant in a business context.

Never Eat Alone, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Getting to Yes, The Effective Executive ...and like 40 more, too many to list!

Here are three books that I have loved reading 1. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie I know its been mentioned already, but truly this is a book worth mentioning twice. For the introverted or the arugmentative type and for anyone else, this book hits alot critical and sometimes overlooked human traits that everyone should be aware of in their daily interactions with other people. A few quotes by Carnegie. Avoid arguments "you can't win an argument, because if you win it you lose it, and if you lose...well you lose it." "few people think of themselves as bad people" -means regardless of how they look,dress or talk, most people are appproachable with a smile and a "hi". "people will always strive to justify themselves". All three of these quotes are connected. 2. The Innovators Solution - Christensen and Raynor If you've ever heard the quote "First they ignore you,... then they fight you, then you win." by Gandhi. This book puts it in perspective in relation to how small companies over take large companies. 3.The 48 Laws of Power _ Robert Greene.…

1) Musashi's Book of Five Rings 2) Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People 3) Machaivelli's The Prince 4) Sun-Tzu's The Art of War 5) Hayakawa's Language in Thought and Action 6) Steven Johnson's Emergence 7) Jared Diamond's Guns, Germs, and Steel 8) Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything 9) Mark Buchanan's Nexus 10) C. S. Lewis's The Problem of Pain Taken together, these books cover just about everything there is to know about the sciences, about human history, human nature and how to understand and communicate effectively with other people. Only one other book besides these needs to be studied/read: The Bible.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It is arguably the most useful book I've ever read, albeit with the most embarassing title. As inklesspen mentioned, Elements of Style is a must. Code Complete and the Mythical Man Month by Fred Brooks. Timeless coding wisdom. For a laugh, Catch-22 by Joseph Heller, or Hitchhiker's Guide. Body Language, Julius Fast. Kitschy but fascinating insights into body language. Fabric of the Cosmos, Brian Greene. Brian is a fluke of nature--a physicist who can explain things realy well! Anything by Phillip K. Dick. Sci-fi stories that make you think.

Some of these have been mentioned, but these stand out for me Programming: Getting Real The Pragmatic Programmer Hackers and Painters Business: Good to Great Start Your Own Business (I knew basically nothing about small business before I started, and it's a good intro) Crossing the Chasm (good so far, haven't finished) Technology/Culture: The Long Tail The World is Flat Productivity/People: Getting Things Done Getting to Yes How to Win Friends and Influence People

Win friends is great. I managed to find an old yellowing copy at the local library shelved under economics :) For those too AD to read it you can just check out these lists of rules to follow on wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People